I am guilty of not living in the moment. I am always trying to be one step ahead; anticipating, planning, predicting.
Currently, I am caught.
Stuck between savoring everything baby about Owen and longing for him to be a bit older.
Chubby fingers, new words, pure excitement over discoveries, 'ma ma', footie pajamas and being small enough for me to still carry are some of my daily joys.
Yet, his passion for emptying the silverware in the dishwasher, at times wrestling him to change a dirty diaper or charging through a Chutes and Ladders game makes me look forward to when he is just a bit older and can participate in the big boy activities.
Often crafts and games are carefully schedule during his nap and frequently family activities are divided with Ryan and the big boys and myself shadowing Owen (ie. at the Forts ).
But the gap is narrowing. Technically he is not a 'baby' but a toddler. Some moments I can feel time slipping out of my hands. I try and grasp all the changes but change doesn't want to be confined. When I think about him (or any of the boys) grown my heart squeezes and eyes blur with tears.
One thing is for sure. Whether baby or big boy, Owen fills our lives with so much joy! He is pure sweetness with enough silly to keep us laughing.
So for now, I will try to be in the now. Even in the crazy moments when I feel torn between big boys and baby. I'll enjoy being caught.
After all, Owen is one sweet catch.
